Fish in the Dark by Larry David

Author:Larry David
Language: ara, deu, eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
Published: 2015-03-30T15:46:50+00:00

ACT TWO

Scene 1

Norman’s house. SR, a kitchen area with a right-angle island counter that looks onto the great room, which contains a comfortable sofa and chair. The front door is UC. There are also doors DL and DR. Brenda’s touches are everywhere, from the plants to the artwork, to the shabby chic decor. She made a beautiful home for Norman—and apparently his mother.

Norman enters, dragging heavy luggage, followed by Gloria.

GLORIA I just do not understand why you have to drive so close to the other cars. What’s the hurry? Why the rush? We were only going from my house to your house. You know what else? I don’t even need all this stuff. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.

NORMAN (covering his face) Oh my God. You know what you should think about? . . . A cruise. People love cruises.

GLORIA Are you kidding? The toilets don’t ever work. That’s all I need . . . Drek boat.

NORMAN It happened one time. They fixed that.

GLORIA The boat probably still stinks.

NORMAN Do you think that’s the only boat? It’s a great trip. Goes to all these different ports.

GLORIA What, Haiti? That’s not on my bucket list.

NORMAN Who said anything about Haiti?

GLORIA And I’m not going to Puerto Rico.

FABIANA (enters from the bedroom) What’s wrong with Puerto Rico?

GLORIA Fabiana? Oh that’s right. I forgot you work here.

FABIANA You have a problem with Puerto Rico?

GLORIA No more so than the average person.

FABIANA (under her breath) Pendeja.

Gloria goes into her bedroom.

NORMAN Hey, what’s with the attitude?

FABIANA It’s not my attitude. It’s her attitude!

NORMAN She had a bad experience there.

FABIANA What bad experience?

NORMAN She couldn’t get a cabana. It was a disaster.

FABIANA I don’t work for her anymore. I don’t have to be nice.

NORMAN Yes you do . . . Look, I know you don’t like her. It’s understandable. You’re jealous because my father was married to her.

FABIANA Jealous?! Your father loved me, not her. I work for you, not her. I’m not going to let her boss me around like she used to.

GLORIA Fabiana, would you put up some coffee?

FABIANA One second.

GLORIA And I’d love a biscuit with that. A nice warm biscuit with a little butter. Delicious! (she goes back to her bedroom)

FABIANA (to Norman) A biscuit?

NORMAN It’s sort of like a combination of bread and a cookie.

FABIANA I know what a biscuit is! (to Gloria) We don’t have biscuits.

NORMAN No biscuits!

Gloria reeneters.

GLORIA What kind of house doesn’t have biscuits? Buy some biscuits.(she returns to her room)

NORMAN Ah, shut the hell up!

Brenda enters.

Hey! You’re moving back?

BRENDA Is your mother here?

NORMAN She just got here.

BRENDA Then no, I’m not. I came for my body pillow. (she heads for the bedroom, then turns back abruptly) August 7, 2006.

NORMAN Oh, here we go.

BRENDA It was a Monday. We had dinner with your family at Fratelli’s. Your mother, your father, Rose, Harry, and Stewie. It took a month to get the reservation. Of course, they didn’t like anything on the menu and they all ordered spaghetti and meatballs, which wasn’t even on the menu.

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